Here is another funny, funny list of tips and tricks that seems to be circulating around the internet via e-mail lately (sorry for the SHOUTING, but this is how it came to me and I don’t want to retype it):

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY  GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET

SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF

AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON
YOUR VEINS.  REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT

YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE  BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.  THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD -40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT

DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40 IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND
DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL

PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD

FOR ANYTHING  BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED
DOWN THE STAIRS.